Claire Verity is a self-proclaimed baby training guru who has advised the rich and famous. She says, “I won’t stand for any nonsense from anybody, babies or their parents.”
Her secrets are as follows:
- Feed your baby on a strict four hour feeding schedule the moment they get out of hospital. She says, “The key to a happy baby is food. The mistake most mums make is that they don’t feed their babies enough.”
- There must be a strict routine. Babies must be in bed by 7pm every evening.
- Babies should sleep in their own cots.
- Only one nighttime feed is allowed.
- Babies are started on solids at 17 weeks.
The bit that disturbs me the most, however, is this excerpt:
Cuddles are also restricted. Claire says too much fuss can make a baby crave attention.
“Imagine having a dog with a ball and you keep throwing it for them. Then all of a sudden you stop and walk away and they don’t understand.
It will think: ‘Why have you stopped playing with me?’ It will start barking, dropping the ball at your feet and annoying you.
It’s the same with a baby. If a baby’s picked up for half an hour, cuddled and then put down, it will get upset.”
I think this woman is awful. What a freak she is! It’s like a child is a dolly who should be put back in its box when you’re bored of it. Doesn’t she understand the meaning of love? Okay, it’s not a good idea to start cuddling and poking your baby when she’s fast asleep, but I think babies should have as much cuddles as they want. In fact, one of the greatest pleasures of having a baby is cuddling her. Now my daughter comes up to me and asks for cuddles, which is awesome. She also gets me to cuddle her soft toys (“Tigger” (a tiger), “Raf” (a giraffe) and “Doggy”). Looks like my daughter will be a cuddle monster, just like me.
My mother’s group and I were saying that there’s so much guilt out there these days about bringing up children. If you let them cry you’ll warp them for life and they’ll hate you; conversely, if you don’t let them cry they’ll be ill-disciplined little brats who won’t have any sense of boundaries. People like Claire Verity just exacerbate this.
The thing is that every baby is different. Unfortunately, it’s a process of trial and error, and there is no “right” solution. What works well for one baby might not work at all for another. My mother said my sister and I were totally different, and had very different needs. I slept through the night from a very early age (I’m still a sleepyhead too) and my sister never slept well.
My maternal health centre strongly recommended that we try controlled crying at 6 or 7 months. It didn’t work for my daughter. It was awful. We tried for a week, and her sleeping just got worse. By the end of it, my husband and I were emotional wrecks. I thought that it must be my fault somehow – had I incorrectly applied the controlled crying approach? I also felt guilty for leaving my baby to cry.
That being said, I know that controlled crying has been a godsend for other parents and friends. The world is so hard to cope with when you have had no sleep.
As it has turned out for us, a happy medium was been best – one feed in the night until our daughter was one year old, not getting up straight away unless baby sounds very distressed etc. You just have to do what works for you!
I really hate all this judgmental crap which rears its ugly head when you become a mother. The most important thing is that baby and mother are happy and healthy, which makes for a happy family!
(Via Diversion Cubed)